Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
