there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
