You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
false alarm. still invincible.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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