You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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