do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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