like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize