all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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