i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
how drunk are you?
Several
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
