Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
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Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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