idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
