Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Randomize
