He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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