That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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