i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
