fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
