There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Terrible idea I love it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
