Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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