so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize