You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
