I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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