Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
