so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
