I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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