dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
