SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize