i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I love you. Go after that dick
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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