awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
