sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize