What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
