Apparently you make a good broom.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
