I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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