He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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