Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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