I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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