I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
