just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
