he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
