is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
