i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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