Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
