All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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