I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
