i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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