sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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