i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
