No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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