feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
