I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
