my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
