i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
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his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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