how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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