i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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