I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
