The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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