We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
